Male vs. Female Definitions

My sister in law sent this to me. Even though I know very few men that are actually this obnoxious I thought it was funny.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female....... Any part under a car's hood.Male.....
The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.Male......
Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.Male......
Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do i t.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;He said . .. . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.
She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.
He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fr idge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge